The Tale of Chelseasaurus
by TheIntergalactic
Summary: Disclaimer- We really are friends, It's just THAT SHE BULLIES ME ALL THE TIME AND RAWW. Dedicated to victims of dinosaur attacks.


I don't appreciate all this... this... NONSENSE!

"UGH!" Joshua Lucas yelled as he stormed into his room. "I can't take it anymore!" He fell facedown into his bed, and let out a muffled yell. "Why does she keep doing that!"

"Why does who keep doing what?" Josh's adaptive brother, Nathan Harr, walked into the room.

"It's Chelsea! She keeps bullying me, and I tell her to stop, but she keeps doing it and I'm getting tired of it and sometimes I just want to kill myself... wait a sec, I like myself! Kill her!"

Nathan chuckled. A year older, he was, *slightly* wiser than Joshua. "Slow down there. You need to confront her about this destructive behavior, and if she doesn't stop... well, you know." He made a motion, as if tying a noose. Josh nodded in agreement.

"I'll do that tomorrow."

The next day, during band class, Josh set up and sat down, fuming. Chelsea set up next to Josh, giggling at him.

"What's so funny, CHELsea?" He really enunciated the Chel in her name, to convey his hatred and anger.

"Nothing really, I just enjoy laughing at you!" She laughed her hyena laugh again. Finally, Josh had it.

"You... you... You know WHAT? I'm TIRED of this SHIT! I've had it with your constant bullying! At first, I was all like "'Oh, she's just playing around, I'll go along with it, it's all a joke!"' But now it's really hurting me, and I keep telling you this, but you won't stop bullying me! Ahhhh!" The entire band class grew silent. Everyone stopped and stared at the two. Josh looked down at the floor in anger, waiting for her retort. It never came. Instead, he felt a tap on his shoulder.  
Chelsea and Josh locked eyes... and she burst out laughing. Josh, finally resigning to defeat, looked at the floor and whispered

"Well, at least I'm not a FAG hag." Chelsea immediately stopped laughing, and with a snarl on her face and a growl in her tone, asked

"What did you say?"

"You heard me, FAG hag." Chelsea let loose a ferocious roar,

"DON'T! SAY! THAT! WORD!" and started growing and transforming. Nathan, who was sitting two seats away from Josh, leapt up and yelled

"It's Chelseasaurus*! RRRRUUUNNN!" The entire band class screamed in terror, and sprinted for the exits. Chelseasaurus growled, and scooped up little Evan Seagroves, and ate him in one bite. Josh and Nathan threw their alto saxes at the horrible beastie, and sprinted to the outside exit. They sprinted to the tennis courts and cross country trail, and got there. They were wheezing when they got there, bent over double.

"I... think... we lost... her." Josh gasped out to Nathan. He started to nod in agreement, but he was cut short when Chelseasaurus burst through the wall of the band room, caked blood on her snout and teeth**. Josh stood straight up, and said

"Motherfucker." He and Nathan turned tail and sprinted towards the woods. Chelseasaurus noticed the movement, and started off after the two. She roared in the anticipation of the kill.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-" Said Josh.

"Would you shut the fuck up" said Nathan, and turned around to see where Chelseasaurus was. She was barely 30 feet from them. "And START RUNNING FASTER!" He and Josh kicked it into high gear, leaving a slight cloud of dust behind them. However, Chelseasaurus left much bigger clouds of dust behind her.

After about 20 more seconds, she caught up to Nathan and Josh, and knocked them over with a sweep of her jaw.

"Oof!" Both of them exclaimed when they were knocked over. She stood over them in victory, huffing. Warm air shot from her nostrils in clouds.

"It's because she smokes pot." Josh whispered to Nathan. He nodded knowingly. Chelseasaurus lowered her massive snout, and looked at the two of them in the eyes. Josh and Nathan looked back into her orbs of death fearlessly; they were both basically marines, and as such did not fear death. Chelseasaurus grabbed Nathan by the arm in her teeth; he screamed in pain. She dragged him a few feet away, and dumped him there, leaving him in a pool of blood, grasping his near severed arm. She turned her attention back to Josh, who didn't run away; he sat there, transfixed on the macabre scene. She and Josh locked eyes, and he started breathing harder, waiting for his death, knowing he would face it like a man. He was, basically a marine.

Chelseasaurus looked deep into Josh's eyes, and to Josh's great surprise, started grunting in unmistakable laughter. Josh didn't know how to react to that. She kept grunting in laughter, and started shrinking and morphing back to her normal self. Josh averted his eyes, expecting her to have lost her clothes. He was a gentleman, and didn't play that voyeur shit. However, she did have her clothes on still, which was quite strange to Josh, but what the fuck ever, fucking physics man.

Chelsea was still laughing uproariously, when Josh walked over to Nathan.

"Nathan! Are you alright?" Nathan looked up at Josh with dead eyes, and beckoned him closer. He didn't have much time left.

"Tell Chelsea... huuhhhh (he wheezed) That she's... hhhuuuuhhhh... she's..."

"She's a what? She's a fag?"

"Yeah... hhhuhhhh... That one... bleah (he died)." Nathan died in Josh's arms.

"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!" Josh screamed up to the heavens. Chelsea was still laughing. Josh, infuriated, got up, and practically yelled in her face.

"You THINK THIS IS A MOTHERFUCKING GAME!" She stopped laughing for a second to answer.

"Yeah, actually!" She resumed her laughing tirade. At this, Josh merely sighed. He pulled out his Glock, racked the slide, put it in his mouth, and pulled the trigger. His blood and brains spewed all over Chelsea, and his body fell with a thud. To this, she started laughing even harder.

"And that's the end of my story!" Said Josh to the creative writing club. Ms. Lewis's face was one of both confusion and repulsion. Nathan was the only one clapping, and Ms. Lewis silenced him with a glare.

"So... I turn into a dinosaur when you say the "F" word?" Chelsea asked Josh.

"Yeah!"

"And I... eat people...?"

"Yeah! Aren't you already a maneater?"

*Chelseasaurus- basically the size of a large Allosaurus (Wikipedia it). Also, the gay kind with the feathers, not the cool kind with scales. And, deep red feathers with black stripes. So yeah.

**Yeah, I'm guessing she killed and ate... half a dozen people? I dunno, she probably would.


End file.
